When I was a kid, talking to people was easy. I had no trouble initiating conversation with complete strangers; no worry, no concern. I was lucky enough to have grown up with an army of people who knew and loved me, so I never felt like I had anything to prove to anyone.
Things started to change around junior high. I gradually became aware of the social order that governed the school and of what my place was. At the same time I began collecting a motley crew of nerds and geeks who got me. By the time I graduated high school, I didn’t need to risk making a fool of myself to strangers– I already had friends.
And then I left for college. Continue reading
Let me ask you something… When was the last time something fell to you to carry out, and you knew for certain that you could accomplish it? What was the last occasion in which you felt like an absolute badass? When was the last time you felt truly confident?
Most of our regular every day lives don’t ask much of us. Get up on time. Do your job. Go home. Eat something. Go to bed. Lather, rinse, repeat. No one expects greatness from you. No one asks you to stretch yourself beyond what you’re comfortable with. We fall into the rhythm of our lives, and before you know it, the last time you felt like you really achieved something worthwhile was years ago.
Feeling confident in your own skin shouldn’t be a luxury. This is our life and we are in charge of it. We can make of it whatever we want. Despite my record, I know myself to be too goddamn awesome to settle for feeling like I’ve accomplished something noteworthy a handful of times every decade. And you know what? You are too. So let’s do something about it. Continue reading
I know. Everyone has a health-related New Year’s resolution. As we look forward to the upcoming year, we decide who we want to try to be. Maybe I want to be a person who runs a triathlon? Or lives solely off of celery and wood chips? Or perhaps I’d settle for being a person who doesn’t consume an excessive amount of soda on a quasi-regular basis? So many options!
I think the reason I’ve never managed to become any of those people, is because simply making a decree to behave differently fails to address my identity. I could make a resolution to hit someone with my car in 2015, but I doubt I’d go through with it because I think of myself as a not murderer. I could make a resolution to eat better, exercise more often, and be a healthier person, but I doubt I’d go through with it because I think of myself as a fat person.
The days crash against our lives like waves against a rocky shore.
Some moments pound themselves against the rocks until the stones lose their sharp edges.
Others tear themselves free from the surf and catch the sun like diamonds.
The past several posts have, almost exclusively, examined the dark leaden hammer moments that have chipped off pieces of our heart and soul and sent them sinking to the bottom of our psyche. I’m going to try real hard to keep this post glistening in the sunlight.
Just over a week ago, Paint and I were lying in our bed, limbs akimbo and clothes everywhere. Before you start to blush, allow me to explain. The following evening we would be leaving for vacation, and we were in the midst of packing. However, because we are professionals, procrastinating until the night before felt too easy, so instead of folding the clothes that covered our bed, we chose to fold ourselves in such a way that we could lie on the bed without disturbing the growing gob of garments. Continue reading